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The Vulture and the Penguin


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August 11, 1998 - ?
It all began in 1998 when a goodhearted Microsoft employee came upon a remarkable series of top-secret documents and smuggled them out. When the New York Times verified the documents were genuine, all hell broke loose.

Published by the Open Source Initiative, these documents, thereafter referred to as the Halloween Documents, became not only a remarkable insight into the mindset of the crooks in Redmond but also an easy to follow blueprint and roadmap to the vitriolic FUD attacks on UNIX carried out by Bill Gates and his friends today.

The situation in Redmond, despite a liquidity the company has never before known, is more critical than ever. Bill Gates knows he cannot out-compete Linux - his own documents tell him so - so he must now try to disparage both Linux, the open source movement, and if necessary the person of Linus Torvalds himself - and again, it is his own Halloween Documents that tell him to do so.

Walmart Sells PCs Without Windows February 22, 2002 12:00 AM UTC
The Mom and Pop killer is offering PCs for sale online with prices starting at $399 for 1GHz models.

The Valentine Documents 2 January 2, 2002 7:10 AM UTC
Honorary World-Wide chairman of Weight Watchers Hopeless Brian Valentine does it again. Go Blimpie!

The Valentine Documents November 10, 2001 20:01 PM UTC
Honorary World-Wide chairman of Weight Watchers Famous Brian Valentine updates the Microsoft Halloween Documents the way Josef Stalin might update the collected works of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin.

Turku Adopts Tux October 5, 2001 13:23 PM UTC
Finland's second academic city decides to follow the lead of Finnish Customs and jump the MS ship.

Sun Unveils Kinder Gentler StarOffice October 2, 2001 16:23 PM UTC
Hot on the heels of Office XP, Sun makes a beta of StarOffice 6.0 available for download.

Shilling XP September 28, 2001 10:06 AM UTC
'Balanced to positive quotes only please.'

Linux Poised for Desktop September 27, 2001 10:23 AM UTC
So says an MS company channel partner email leaked to The Register.

Consumers Slam XP September 26, 2001 11:24 AM UTC
The Consumer Federation of America, the Consumers Union, the Media Access Project and US Public Interest Research Group don't like MS software and hold a press conference in Washington DC to explain why.

He Who Controls the Bootloader August 27, 2001 6:04 PM UTC
How the demise of Be affects Linux.

Linux: An Installer's Tale August 25, 2001 7:15 AM UTC
Ivan Noble tests Caldera and SuSE.

Happy Birthday Linux! August 24, 2001 12:26 PM UTC
Mark Ward looks at ten years with the happy penguin.

Billg Sees Dead People August 23, 2001 12:00 AM UTC
Microsoft caught in the act again, sending forged grass roots letters to US government offices.

More Holes in MS Software August 20, 2001 12:34 PM UTC
Surprise surprise! You thought XP was peachy now, didn't you?

Hotmail Renamed Holemail? August 20, 2001 6:51 AM UTC
All you sorry advocates of .NET Passport take note: All it takes to crack a Hotmail account is a Visual Basic program.

MS Gets Passport to FTC August 16, 2001 9:00 AM UTC
EPIC and Junkbusters take the controversial service to Washington again.

MS to Hire Linux Basher August 15, 2001 6:04 PM UTC
Or 'Developer Evangelist' as the Beast so unpretentiously puts it.

Childrens Charity Welcomes Tux August 9, 2001 2:19 PM UTC
PCs for Kids, harassed by Microsoft (see below), is now using Linux.

Microsoft Go to Supreme Court August 7, 2001 9:35 PM UTC
Microsoft doesn't like the appeals court ruling and doesn't like being spanked.

XP Blacklists ISVs August 2, 2001 8:00 PM UTC
%SystemRoot%\apphelp.sdb effectively proscribes third party software.

MS Last-Minute Weekend Bug Roundup July 27, 2001 7:00 PM UTC
Presenting four brand spanking new holes to round up this week of glory for the programmers in Redmond.

WPA Cracked! July 17, 2001 1:30 PM UTC
You were worried about Microsoft turning off the faucet? Really? Worry no more.

MS Attacks Childrens Charity July 14, 2001 3:20 PM UTC
It's getting ugly: Billg's lawyers in OZ are harassing the charity PCs for Kids to pay up a full new licence fee for second hand Windows on second hand computers the charity gives away to families in need. Bill & Melinda should be proud.

XP OOBE Does Not Include IE July 11, 2001 9:01 PM UTC
IE is not an integral part of XP, says Microsoft, thereby accomplishing what they earlier claimed was non-negotiable and technically impossible.

MS to Philadephia: Give Us Your Lunch Money! July 10, 2001 8:20 PM UTC
With the Philadelphia school district already near bankruptcy and not being able to pay its teachers for the coming fiscal year, guess what Microsoft does? You got it - licence audit, engineered to force the entire district to upgrade to .NET.

Netcraft: Apache Rise, IIS Drop July 4, 2001 4:24 PM UTC
Netcraft's most recent survey of over 29,000,000 websites reveals the open source Apache web server is yet gaining in popularity and that MS 'technology' is still on a sharp decline.

MS .NET Security Fails July 4, 2001 3:40 PM UTC
The complete XP RC1 has been available for over 24 hours through yet another MS security breach. It's a file called wxp_pro_rc1.iso and it's 501MB to download but it's being downloaded right now.

RedHat Guns for MS July 3, 2001 1:45 PM UTC
An interview with Red Hat European VP Colin Tenwick.

MS: Open Source is Cancerous July 2, 2001 6:45 PM UTC
Ballmer goes ballistic about MS's woes.

MS: Open Source is Un-American July 2, 2001 3:32 PM UTC
The FUD gets fuddier.

Reverse Engineering .NET July 2, 2001 11:05 AM UTC
An intriguing game of chicken is enveloping Microsoft's plans to port its C# language and run-time to BSD, with software libre leaders vowing to give the Beast a taste of its own embrace 'n' extend medicine.

MS the New Italia? June 29, 2001 12:34 PM UTC
Finding defeat in victory. Winning by losing. By John Lettice.

Happy as Pigs in Filth? June 29, 2001 10:14 AM UTC
Thomas C Greene finds it curious that both the DOJ and MS claim victory.

No MS Breakup Say CADC June 28, 2001 5:19 PM UTC
Appeals court reverses TP's breakup but reaffirms Billg is a nawty boy. Download the official document here.

Why is Microsoft Attacking the GPL? June 28, 2001 1:42 PM UTC
Microsoft sees a threat to its underlying business model, which explains the virulence of this particular round of FUD, says Bryan Pfaffenberger.

Microsoft's XP: Hardware Lockup? June 27, 2001 2:00 PM UTC
ZD wakes up too.

XP's Big Turnoff June 27, 2001 1:42 PM UTC
Microsoft's product activation technology is finally starting to raise eyebrows at CNET.

Hands Off My PC June 26, 2001 12:45 PM UTC
PC World readers react to impending XP product activation technology.

Open Source Terror Stalks MS Lawyers June 25, 2001 3:52 PM UTC
John Lettice offers an interesting theory why Microsoft is running rabid about 'viral GPL software'.

MS Ready for New Wave of License Audit Blitzkrieg June 24, 2001 7:34 AM UTC
They've done it already and rumours circulate they're about to do it again: harass customers they know to be honest in an effort to force them to abandon current licensing in favour of the dreaded .NET/Hailstorm initiative.

BOFH and the Linux Evangelist June 22, 2001 11:54 AM UTC
Simon is not a happy man.

Commie Cell in MS Secretly Pushes GPL? June 20, 2001 11:30 PM UTC
John Lettice reports on Interix, now owned by Billg.

MS FUD Creeps Into EULA June 20, 2001 11:30 PM UTC
The new licence agreement for the beta of Microsoft's Mobile Internet Toolkit has a whole section devoted to Open Source, which it describes as 'Potentially Viral Software.'

WSJ: Microsoft Admits to Using Open Source June 18, 2001 12:00 PM UTC
Microsoft, presently following the roadmap of its Halloween Documents to conduct a rabid campaign against open source, reveals just how much of the code they have been using all along.

Gates & Ballmer in Office XP Pinups June 15, 2001 05:20 AM UTC
The Register has obtained copies of two posters used by Microsoft to whip up enthusiasm for Office XP. They were intended solely for internal circulation. Do even the Microsofties need convincing?

Telling Lies: ESR on Microsoft June 6, 2001 2:00 PM UTC
A senior Microsoft executive is telling lies in public. In other startling news, the sky is blue and water has been seen flowing downhill.

The Linux Reality Versus the Microsoft Dream February 16, 2001 9:00 AM UTC
Paul Ferris takes Jim Allchin out to crunch.

Linux Threatens Whom? February 16, 2001 3:00 PM UTC
MS master fudder Jim Allchin takes a stab at scaring legislators into believing Linux stifles innovation.

A Golden Opportunity January 3, 2001 5:54 PM UTC
The Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington releases a 73-page study concluding that Microsoft software is so full of security holes, and so poorly audited, that it not only poses a risk to the national security but also cannot be fixed; the websites of most Fortune 500 companies have been cracked, including Microsoft's own; then the NSA creates a 'Secure Linux' which the world in general really needs but which the open source community refuses to touch. Report and comment by Dennis E Powell.

NYT Verifies Authenticity of Halloween Documents November 3, 1998
Amy Harmon and John Markoff confront Microsoft with the Halloween Documents. Microsoft executives acknowledge they are genuine.

The Halloween Documents August 11, 1998
Where will Microsoft try to drag you today? Do you really want to go there?

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