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Microsoft is not to blame

Week of October 15, 2001

This rant is dedicated to the Quickster.

Churning over old milk and chopping up old waste for reconsumption, Michelle Delio of Wired has written two new articles on SirCam. You can read them here and here. As if anyone cares. Really. Or, rather: Who really cares?

That's bad enough - but the articles attempt underhandedly to whitewash Microsoft as well. Here we are in the shadow of the WTC where real people are getting killed, where bombers pummel desert landscapes by night and US Congressmen get anthrax-infected fanmail by day, where people are scared for their lives - and we're supposed to worry about, oh heck even care about an idiotic email worm?

Michelle gets the quotes she wants. Yes, people spreading SirCam are IDIOTS - and now the word can be used outright, there is no PC ban on it. Idiots at the keyboards of computers are correctly and generically called 'IDIOTS'. So much for progress.

But the twist is that Microsoft is no longer to blame. This is a hard one to get corroboration for, but she does. Hackbuster Tom Liston comes to the rescue. We used to be able to blame Microsoft, but they've taken the rap long enough, says Tom in so many words. Now we can blame the IDIOTS.

There is no way - NO WAY - anyone can pretend to be blind to Microsoft's participation in this sham of shame without deliberately trying to work along side the company for one reason or another, pecuniary or otherwise (such as a lame dependence on lame Microsoft software).

Way Back When

Way back when the world was black and white and it looked something like this.

C:\> _

And that cursor blinked there between raster lines 11 and 12 incessantly. And the idiots stayed away, and the computer was happier for it too. And this was only a 'PC', this was only a toy, this was not a real computer either. Real computers were (thankfully) even more inaccessible to idiots.

And the home computer, lest we forget, was invented by the likes of Steve Wozniak because he wanted something to play with at home when he wasn't at work at Hewlett-Packard working with real computers.

But Bill Gates changed all that. And anyone who has been around long enough to comment on the proliferation of SirCam and pretends ignorance of this fact is a hypocrite pure plain and simple.

For it was Bill Gates, as we all acknowledge today, who brought the idiot to the computer.

Bringing The Idiot To The Computer

Again, before Bill there was nothing. Nothing to get enraged about. The Internet existed and people were happy and it was a free place and computers existed too and people who had business dealing with them dealt with them and it was a kind happy world in that respect. But that was before Bill Gates set out to make his sixty billion dollars.

Bill Gates was never smart enough to be a good programmer, but Bill Gates is a megalomaniac, Bill Gates is cutthroat ruthless and would kill his own grandmother for a PBJ sannie and Bill Gates is certainly no IDIOT. And together with the unhappily inflated Steve Ballmer Bill knew he had a winning combination: Bill would woo the dumbest people on the planet to use computers, and Steve would brainwash the same stupid people to program them.

As soon as the 'C prompt' became a thing of the murky past the gates broke and the world got flooded. The IDIOTS arrived. Bill counted his money, so did Steve, and everyone else pulled out their hair. Steve hired on cull after cull of some of the most pathetic people ever to set foot within the halls of computing science and suddenly we had weapons of mass destruction in the hands of total retards. And the worst was yet to come.

A quick look at XP is enough to understand that Bill has found a new nadir in idiocy as well: Just when you thought Bill had found the dumbest of the dumb and that people could get no dumber, you see XP and realise Bill has found a new group even dumber than the ones who've gone before. Bill is after a cold one hundred billion, even if he has to destroy all computer and Internet life as we know it in the process.

Thank You WHG3

Thank you, Bill Gates. Thank you for MEDIOCRITY which today has to be spelled IDIOCY instead. Look at the Internet around you. This used to be a rather closed intellectual society, did you realise that? Look at it today. Porn sites everywhere, popups and pop-unders and JavaScript bombs and email worms and banner ads and Yahoo ads a half mile wide and a light year long and casinos and credit card scandals and...

This is all SHIT, and that's a new word we can use now too, it's PC as well, all this sorry stuff that has happened to the Internet it's SHIT is what. Pure unadulterated SHIT. And it wouldn't be here but for the IDIOTS have arrived. The whole fukkin place smells of IDIOTS or of SHIT and frankly the both of them probably smell the same.

We All Know This

We all know this. Anyone writing for Wired, anyone who's been around a few years knows this. This is no secret, this is no holy revelation, maybe not everyday does someone come out with such strong language against it, but it's there, it's there all right, and we all see it, we've all watched it creep over our world, we've all shed a dry tear for it all, yes we know why it happens too and we know that without Bill Gates' singular vision and singular marketing strategy and immense success in getting PCs out to hundreds upon hundreds of millions of totally clueless people this would not be so. We know that.

In a court of law, no matter the nation, pleading ignorance is of no help and perjury only worsens things.

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