Protecting Home Surveillance and Defence Systems Since 1941
Bloatbusters™ Security Advisor (B2SA) is an easy to use web application that will help you secure your personal computer system regardless of operating system or hardware platform (this is possible because the CGI routines the application is dependent on are written in HAND-CRAFTED 100% PURE ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE).
Simply press the Scan Now button to receive a detailed report of your computer's security settings and recommendations for improvement.
B2SA will scan your system and build a customized report on items such as missing security patches, water faucet leaks, weak passwords, weak libidos, Internet Explorer and Outlook Express security settings, Internet Explorer and Outlook Express JUST BEING ON YOUR FRIKKIN DESKTOP AT ALL YOU BABOON, and Office macro protection settings. More details on the specific tests performed by B2SA are available by sending us money, but it's more money than you can afford, so you'd best forget it.
For each weakness identified on your computer, B2SA provides easy to understand information on the security issue at hand, how to fix it, and links to additional information about the issue. Once you correct a reported deficiency, you can run the scan again and see the results of the change. Running B2SA on a regular basis will help ensure that your system stays up to date and secure AND WILL DRIVE UP UNIQUES AT THE BLOATBUSTERS SITE.
1) B2SA should not be used to scan good computers. B2SA is intended to assess shitty computers.
2) B2SA does not check for web server related patches. If you are running Internet Information Server (IIS) or Personal Web Services (PWS) on your system, please use the USukBad tool to check for proper web server patches and then consult your local physician, FOR YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND.
Bloatbusters™ Security Advisor was created as a joint effort between Bloatbusters™ Security and Shish-Ka-Bob Technologies, LICK. Shish-Ka-Bob Technologies has created an Enterprise version of this product with additional features including centralized reporting, login time scanning and Web and command line interfaces. More information on this version is available from the Shish-Ka-Bob website, or by clicking on the icon to the right.