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MS Top Four Resign - New Board To Take Over

December 21, 2001 2:14 PM UTC REDMOND WASHINGTON
In one of the weirdest and most shocking moves in IT ever, Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, Scott Culp and Jim Allchin simultaneously resigned their positions from Microsoft Corporation this morning. All four will retain their stock holdings in the company.

Bill Gates was first to the microphone, claiming all four of them 'needed a breather'. Scott Culp cited the bad publicity the company has received of late and the multitude of serious security holes already found in their new flagship, Windows XP. Steve Ballmer did not offer any comments because he is currently recovering from an operation on his larynx. Jim Allchin remained under the table.

The new board will hold a press conference later this afternoon to discuss their plans for the future of Microsoft Corporation.

William H (Bill) Gates, co-founder and former chief executive officer of Microsoft Corporation, was most recently chief software architect; Steve Ballmer, formerly an executive vice-president, was most recently the company's chief executive officer; Scott Culp was chief of security; and Jim Allchin held two positions, chief dog and chief pipe cleaner.

More will follow - 'stay tuned'.

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