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Think About It

Week of August 21, 2004

It takes only twenty minutes for a Windows box to get smashed but it takes ten years to get someone to do something about it.

Did you ever get the feeling you were in the right place at the wrong time, or the wrong place at the right time, or - worst of all - the wrong place at the wrong time?

Welcome to the world of Windows users - the most pathetic losers on the planet.

They're unfathomable - they get stomped on by their vendor with insulting teletubbie graphics and constant nags to contribute to the coffers of the Vole, they get charged for support phone calls for an operating system that can't idle at 0% CPU and stay going for a single day - and do they switch? Do they get out? Do they do the sensible thing so they won't have anything anymore to complain about?

Think about it.

Welcome to the world of the nihilists - Bill Gates, Fatso Steve Ballmer, and all the rest of those mongrels in Redmond Washington.

If one more American idiot says Microsoft are good because they're so successful, someone's going to go through the rest of life without a head of hair. It's so tiring, so enervating - where do they come from? Under a rock? Rocks don't do that kind of damage.

They're getting their life savings stolen now. The crooks don't need guns anymore - just Microsuckers. They don't have to put their lives on the line anymore. Mafiosi hire gangs of hackers who sit around all day and play duck shoot with Microshit software. Like it's difficult or something: just get the best exploits for the day and the cleanest way to use them.

They're so advanced we have zero-day exploits out there that nobody still knows anything about. (If you're terminally clueless, a zero-day exploit is an exploit that no one but the exploiter knows anything about - and there are zero-day exploits out there even today on Microshit software - the software is so bad no one knows how to fix it because they can't find the problem. Think about it.)

The situation is so critical that Microshit can't even figure out what's wrong - much less fix it.

Think about it.

Welcome to Service Pack 2 - which will help at most 51% of the total Windows population - somewhere between 250 and 300 million computers (no one promised humanity would be intelligent). These 51% may or may not take the service pack. A lot of them have illegal copies and they can't take it.

If all the idiots presently saying 'Microsoft are finally doing the right thing' would just stop for one minute so everyone could think about it - let's just assume this service pack really works (which it doesn't - it's a working hypothesis, OK?) - what do we have then?

That's a biggie, my friends: say suddenly all the security woes associated with the predatory monopoly are blown away forever - have we anything to bank on?

Think about it.

Windows will still be the most crash-prone operating system on the planet, the most wobbly and distinctly dumbly written piece of copycat software the world has ever wanted to get rid of.

You are still going to get your crashes and hangs. You are still going to have to hammer out that horrid Ctrl-Alt-Del all the time. You are still going to lose all your work. You are still going to get price gouged and nagged to death to get a Hotmail account. You are still going to get caught in vendor lock-in. You are still going to get caught in forced updates and uninstalls that deliberately don't work. You are still going to witness how Bill Gates goes after the competition by deliberately breaking their apps on your machine.

You are still going to have to deal with Bill Gates's belief that he owns, will soon own, or should own every piece of digital media you can get your hands on. You're still going to have to deal with the fact that Microshit paid out nearly a billion dollars in US court settlements last year for unfair price gouging and will soon have to pay another half billion to the European Union.

You are still going to have to put up with news breaks with that gorilla Steve Ballmer. You are still going to have to listen to Bill Gates's continual lies and suffer through his never-ending deceptions.

You are still going to have to be able to sleep at night, knowing it was your support that made one of the most dishonest companies in modern times rise to a position of world dominance without having a single good thing to give consumers.

You are still going to have an operating system that sucks.

Think about it.

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