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Support is Cool

Week of December 11, 2005

And customers are great. The following is not atypical. Through the end of 2005 all software updates to the XPT have been free. This is unique in the industry. Not only do users get updates to software they already purchased, they also get new programs they didn't.

Some users started with as few as forty programs; the tally today is nearly one hundred fifty; none of these people have ever paid anything for new releases and new programs in the near ten years the product has been available.

And the per-unit cost has always been below one United States dollar per program. It's unbeatable, and users have to do only one thing: keep their contact address up to date.

Why? Because people have been people and have literally tried to hijack each other's licenses [sic]. They write about a friend who they know has a licence and say they now have a new mail address; if that address is changed, the real licence holder will eventually wonder what happened. And yes, this is how low some people will stoop: it's been done on dozens of occasions.

No one is under any obligation once the software has been delivered; but users have been receiving updates for free anyway. And all they have to do is keep their contact address up to date.

And they know this too: it's the first thing they read when they purchase the product.

For reasons which become clear below, this policy of free updates and free new programs now will disappear on 1 January 2006 to never return. Why? Just read on.

--- Steve Bollocks <Steve@Bollocks.com> wrote:
I own it, but am getting errors when I use the ie cache killers, and occasionally some other of the apps. Specifically 'the application failed to initialize properly' comes up a lot, does that matter? Do you do any updates?

I know microsoft messes with everything but I thought I would ask anyway. Also would it be possible to have your tutorial on the E3 stuff a written a little clearer on how to use it correctly. You must figure most of us who use this are not at your level on programming and really understanding the machine correctly.

Steve Bollocks


This mail address of yours is not in our user database.


--- Steve Bollocks <Steve@Bollocks.com> wrote:
I had another mail address that I had gotten rid of, sbollocks@mindspring.com, or sbollocks@hotmail.com. I do have two legitimate copies of your software. Does that help?

How are we supposed to know you have two licenses? And your saying you have other mail addresses doesn't wash. You know the rules: you write from your registered address, and if you need to change that address, you notify us beforehand.

And if you need to figure out what your registered address is, then you contact the merchant you purchased with.

All I can do is look up the sender address, which I have already done, and ascertain it is not in the list.


Are you fucking kidding? I gave you the email addresses, they are variations of my name. These are the only email addresses I have ever used. I have bought two licenses of your software, and this is how you treat me? What a weasel!!! I notice you won't even use your name, you pussy! Fuck you and your piece of shit software! Unbelievable douche bag! I will make it a point to tell as many others of your "customer service". You sure talk a good game, too bad you won't back it up. I am sure your code sucks as well. You make a big point of telling everyone how stupid Microsoft is, lets see some of you so called "excellent code". I may not be as smart a programmer, or write code as you do, but I do know enough when I am dealing with an asswipe who won't even offer the courtesy to me. Do you think I would take the time to write all of this if I was bullshitting you. Stick it up your ass eurofuck!!

Work hard, moron.


The Eurofucks

> I will make it a point to tell as many others of your "customer service".
<h1>Test page for steve bollocks</h1>
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN" > <HTML>
        <meta name="GENERATOR" Content="Microsoft Visual Studio .NET 7.1">
        <meta name="CODE_LANGUAGE" Content="C#">
        <meta name="vs_defaultClientScript" content="JavaScript">
        <meta name="vs_targetSchema" content="http://schemas.microsoft.com/intellisense/ie5">
    <body MS_POSITIONING="GridLayout">
        <form name="Form1" method="post" action="default.aspx" id="Form1">
<input type="hidden" name="__VIEWSTATE" value="dDwtNjU0MzcyMTk1Ozs+XPVIe6O9SEdVXS4+tI1poX8XAHc=" />

HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Cache-Control: private
Connection: close
Content-Length: 44
Content-Type: text/html
Server: Microsoft-IIS/6.0
X-Powered-By: ASP.NET

This IP address cannot be used for browsing.
Bollocks, Steve
   7119 east shea #109-141
   scottsdale, AZ 85254

   Domain Name: BOLLOCKS.COM

   Administrative Contact:
      Bollocks, Steve steve@bollocks.com
      7119 east shea #109-141
      scottsdale, AZ 85254
      480 220-4122

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