Migration

You no longer have an excuse. You're the enemy until you leave.

Get It Try It

The most malicious and widespread evil software on the Internet today is not Phatbot, or MyDoom, or Blaster. It is Microsoft Windows. This sub-standard technology proliferated by the clowns in Redmond and kept at the forefront of desktop sales by monopolistic market bullying is exclusively responsible for bringing the Internet as a whole to the brink of ruin.

And if you don't understand that the above paragraph is not just wrathful rhetoric, then you need to get a clue and fast. The time might soon come that you will not be allowed to connect to the Internet if you are running Windows, whether it be a desktop client or the notorious Microsoft web server IIS. Already ISPs are denying access for computers they detect as infected.

You have no excuse. You've been beaten around your empty head with the proverbial clue bat for years. Only by insisting on unparalleled lameness have you been able to continue and use Microshite even today.

The ILOVEYOU outbreak of 2000 may have started the era. By all accounts it was not intentional. But almost every outbreak since was. And although most of these could be relegated to the domain of 'pranks', the evolution of this horror cannot. Today malware is the almost exclusive dominion of organised crime, and their sophistication in outwitting the casual brain-dead Windows user is not the issue: their ability to so easily outwit the morons in Redmond is.

Years ago, when granny wanted to get on the Internet to find out what everyone else was talking about, when granny still didn't know you needed a computer to do it, there was reason to understand why Mr and Mrs Clueless, walking into their local IDIOTS R US store, would presume Windows equated to computer science. Yes, they'd been receiving benefits for years from sturdy mainframe services, but they're by definition clueless, and cannot be expected to ever think - about this or about anything. They did not know - today they do, or should. Today they no longer have an excuse.

Comcast are now denying Internet access to infected Windows machines. Good for them: soon other ISPs will follow suit. And the day may soon come when just running Windows is perceived as the risk it truly is and this and this alone disqualifies a user from Internet access. And when it happens, it won't have happened a day too soon.

Microsoft are by far, head and shoulders, the most unconscionable and pathetic software company in the history of computing. As Bill Joy said, Microsoft have taken standalone systems and put them on the Internet without a thought for the evildoers. But Windows is worse: it's not in the implementation Windows fails, it's in the design, as Charlie Demerjian pointed out. The basic Windows system and disk architecture does not even afford the Redmond corporation the ability to retrofit security onto their model. As the US Federal Accounting Office already years back condemned Microsoft IIS and advised against its use, so must and will the world of today regard the desktop Windows client - it's unusable on the Internet, and its use on the Internet can and should be punished.

Make no mistake: if you are today using Windows on the Internet, you are our enemy, and we already perceive you as such. Expect no quarter, no consideration, no sympathy, and no mercy. If you do not leave the Internet on your own, as long as you insist on using that crap, we will do what we can to get you to leave. No one but no one will tolerate your idiocy a single second longer.

You have a way out, at least now: you can take this last warning and migrate. Nothing has ever stood in your way, and today even less will do that. You can migrate now, or you can expect consequences in what will surely follow.

Is this a threat? Not by this company directly, although we will openly despise you and condemn you and ridicule you. But if you don't regard the likes of Phatbot as threat enough in and of itself, then you truly need brain surgery and possibly a lobotomy and fast, and very seriously do not belong in this otherwise nice online community. The Internet is not for you. It never was and it never will be. You're ruining the neighbourhood and we want you gone - irrevocably gone, now and forever.

And if Phatbot doesn't destroy you, its followups surely will.